Romance is not what it used to be. As I mentioned in my blog post, I would be following up with an article about open relationships. Well nowadays, the concept of starting open relationship is becoming increasingly more frequent for couples — although, perhaps not a societal norm. The whole idea is that two people remain monogamous but have sex with others. Sometimes on a frequent basis, sometimes just every now and then. It’s pretty outside the box as far as relationships are concerned. For some couples, this can be great, but for many others this may actually create more heart ache than romance for others.
Essentially, this is why a general understanding and healthy communication is essential going forward. This can be in the form of even written ground rules about what is acceptable and what is not. Well a friend of mind has been seeing a girl and I have to share his story, because it is a perfect example of what can happen in this context. His girlfriend wanted to experiment with an open relationship 2 years ago.
He was game, and wanted her to feel comfortable so told her he was all ears to what
she had in mind. Well, she went so far as to write down a contract they both signed
on what was ok and what was not. This calls into question what exactly “open” means. I have his permission to publish without names, their story, so here goes, get the popcorn:
Your girlfriend is the highest priority; plans with her always come first. Complaints are not allowed if you have to and will reschedule other plans with friends or lovers, upon your girlfriend's request to hold plans involving you and her.
If you think that you won’t be home by 6:00PM Monday-Friday you will inform your girlfriend before work:
1) Every reason why you won’t be home by 6pm
2) The exact time you will be home and why you are delayed on your way home, and if know you will not be there by 6pm, you must call her by that time to let her know every reason why you will be late
4) In the event that she does not answer your call, you will:
Leave a voice message or text with an explanation of the situation, with the new ETA
You cannot stay out past 3:00AM without your girlfriend's approval ahead of time. If for whatever reason you will not be home by 3:00AM, it is required that you call your girlfriend by that time, even if she is asleep at the time of your call. If she does not answer your call, you will:
1) Record a voicemail explaining the situation, with a new estimated time of arrival and return and
2) Text the same information
You cannot leave the house without informing your girlfriend:
1) The location of where you are going and
2) The time of day or night you will be home; and
3) You must tell her who you are meeting with and possibly their contact information as well if asked for and the address of where you will both be at upon requested.
4) You must never act like you are in an open relationship but keep up appearance to the general public that you are still sexually monogamous even if you both are not.
5) If at any point you become suspicious that your girlfriend has broken these rules or after crossing a certain line, made upset, disrespected, betrayed or sad you will schedule a time to discuss your feelings with her
6) You must not talk crap online or behind eachothers’ backs about your unhappiness with this arrangement
*You must pretend as if you are in a 100% closed relationship.
*Pole workers at local strip clubs are forbidden
*Phone sex is not allowed with other women
*Cyber sex is off limits
Changing These Rules:
If you wish to alter any of the ground rules, you must discuss this with the girlfriend first before taking action
My friend tore up her contract and dumped the girl